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Monologue Jokes – September 13, 2013
1. A teenage robber who was running away with his hands full of loot from a Florida church was caught when his baggy pants started slipping off. Which left the priest, who was in pursuit, with a very...
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May 1, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Late Tuesday night, Florida State quarterback and reigning Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston was issued a citation for shoplifting crab legs from a grocery store. This incident is not the first...
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May 15, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. This week, former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney said he supports efforts to raise the minimum wage to $10. But that’s only because he doesn’t know that $1 and $5 bills exist. 2....
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March 17, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, the U.K.’s Prince Harry announced, after nearly a decade of service in the British military, he has decided to leave the armed forces. Harry said he wants to focus on his real life...
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June 8, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. In a speech last week, Ray Kurzweil, the director of engineering at Google, said that humans will be hybrids, part man, part machine, by 2030. “I can’t wait to have a human part,” said Mitt Romney....
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May 6, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. There is a 4-month-old baby in China who was born with 31 fingers and toes. And if you think that’s bad, the parents’ previous baby was even more deformed, it was a girl. 2. On Thursday, London...
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December 29, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Last week, Dutch ambassador Peter Hoekstra lied to a news reporter about comments he perviously made, and then, when confronted with those comments, lied about lying. Said Secretary of Education...
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May 18, 2018 – Monologue Jokes
1. Meghan Markle’s father, Thomas Markle, will not attend his daughter’s wedding to Prince Harry ON Saturday. Harry’s mom will also not be attending, but she has a better excuse. 2. Monday was Facebook...
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July 27, 2018 – Monologue Jokes
1. The London gospel choir that performed at the wedding of Britain’s Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, has signed a record deal with Sony Music. Not to be outdone, the Queen has signed with Death Row...
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January 20, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. Madame Tussauds waxwork museum in London announced last week that it had removed figures of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle from their royal exhibit. The last time a room full of royals cleared out...
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February 3, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. President Trump said on Monday the United States and China were in close contact regarding the newly identified coronavirus outbreak. “Close contact? Be careful, you might contract something,” said...
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